If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
