When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
