i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
