it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
