My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
