Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
