You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
