At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
