I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
