i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
