Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
