He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
not ubering you a puppy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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