When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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