do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
