friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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