Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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