She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
