Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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