Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
