He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
