He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this will be a night to untag.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
