I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
