My cat gives me a boner
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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