He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
