Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
