Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
