U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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