Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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