He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
