Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
