Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
