He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
