Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
third nipple confirmed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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