would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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