Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
