Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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