He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
