With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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