you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
