I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
