no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
