We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
