Dual....:-)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
