When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
