yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
