My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
