I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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