i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
