THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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