i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
