the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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