Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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