youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just forgot I was standing up.
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