people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
