to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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