I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
